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Super Bonk
Jared is playing the weirdness that is Super Bonk. Synopsis Super Bonk is a weird game. Bonk was the mascot for the TurboGrafx-16, and look how well that turned out for them. A gravestone for Hudson Soft 1973-2012 appears. Jared was introduced to Bonk via the NES game, and he rented the game a lot. He bought that same cartridge, when the store went out of business. Super Bonk taught Jared what psychedelic drugs are like! Jared discusses the opening, not well thought through plot. Bonk traveled so far back in time, he did a full loop to modern China. Jared discusses Bonks crazy attacks, including smashing his skull against things until they die, and spinning his head while in mid-air to control his velocity. "Screw Physics! Because Video Games!" Jared is confused by the weird power-ups as Bonk changes clothes and gains Dragonball Z eyebrows. He glares so hard that he turns enemies into stone. After another weird transformation that turns Bonk into - something, Jared talks about more weird stuff, such as tiny Bonk spitting out the word "RAGE!" Jared's favorite weird power-up might be the large, heart-shaped lizard. He always looks like he's having a good time. Giant lizard Bonk turns invisible, Giant Chicken Bonk lays eggs, and regular Giant Bonk loses his head. Jared vomits. Jared thought that the smileys were like Mario coins, but they are more like currency that can only be spent at one place in the game - otherwise they are useless and are everywhere. Jared discusses the bonus games, and likes the casualness of how the game rates your performance. "Did I do it?" "Nah!" Bonus levels are everywhere and occur way too often. Jared starts ignoring them. The game isn't all that hard - there aren't even any bottomless pits - and that's fine. This game was supposed to be an enjoyable adventure. Jared loves it, as it seems like it came from the imagination of an eight year old. Jared enjoys the level that is clearly set in France, and climbs the Eiffel Tower and bounces on the clouds. All the bosses are really easy. When Bonk fell off the plane, he ends up in the Jurassic period, and Jared claims that the Bonk timeline is more screwed up than Zelda's. One of the levels involves being in the dinosaur's house, and they think they are people. Jared likes the imagination involved in being small inside one's house, and being able to turn the lights on and off. This level ends by being sucked through a dinosaur's mouth. This weird level involves traversing through a dinosaur's body including through it's brain! This section is pretty annoying. Bonk is then sneezed out and launched to the moon, which has towers and a pyramid. The greatest stage in the entire game has Jared way too excited about flying Bonk through space. Bonk is then launched to a comet, which is then blown up, and Bonk travels at warp speed and turned into a spinning crab. Jared feels like he needs to mention that the game is weird again. Jared reaches the final boss at Drool's tower - who has become significantly larger since the beginning of the game. Jared likes how the level is shrunk down when Bonk's size is increased. This boss fight is dumb. This last fight makes up for all of the bad bosses, as Bonk turns gigantic as he gets to chase Drool, and Jared really enjoys this section. Drool then falls into his own trap. Jared has no idea how anyone could come up with the ideas from this game apart from drugs. Everything is very creative. The forgiving platforming is great for someone who is bad at platformers. Jared likes to have a relaxing, simple game, and feels good after playing it. Jared then vomits the word "RAGE!" Trivia * On the graphic that Jared has showing Bonk's timeline, one of the markers is 'Lavos', a reference to Chrono Trigger. ** It also includes 'Human Race enslaved' and 'Ice Age (Not the Movie)'. * "Screw physics! Because Video Games!" was also said during the Super Hydlide episode. Category:ProReview Category:Videos